What scares me

I drafted my ‘What Scares Me’ post a few days ago, but I’m realizing that over the last few days, my answer has become more complex. It started in a very self-centered way: I don’t want to hurt a patient, a loved one, a family member. I don’t want to lose sight of what is important.

What scares me now is a confusing compilation of so many factors. I don’t want to miscommunicate with other care-providers. I don’t want critical lab values misread or missed. I don’t want the elevator and O.R. fluid to look alike. I still don’t want to hurt a patient, a loved one, a family member. I don’t want suffering to occur within hospital walls – I don’t want my hospital floor to be deemed the most unsafe place for a person to be. I don’t want my loved one to have surgery on a Thursday. I don’t want lawyers to coach me to say no. I don’t want someone to videotape my co-workers. I don’t want a team that I work with to be viewed as incompetent.

It’s daunting to think that any of us could someday have — a job in, a colleague working in, a loved one urgently admitted to — a facility that does not practice anything we have learned this week. And in that case, will I have all of the fears listed above and more?

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